Persona December 2016
Start at the end and work backwards from there before making decisions.
A co-worker of mine invited me and five other non-family members over for Christmas to be with her family. I spent Thanksgiving with just her family and it was amazing, but I didn’t feel the energy would be the same this time.
It turns out my reservations were validated when she came to me, worried, that she probably made a mistake inviting people she doesn’t even know into her home on Christmas day. My uneasiness over it was also because she wanted me there because her son and I had a deep connection at Thanksgiving and he hasn’t been home for the holidays in five years, but he was coming and wanted to see me again. Since Thanksgiving, she’s been passing along messages from her son that he thinks I’m really sweet. It’s evident that they don’t know me. She kept conveying messages on his behalf and ignoring me when I said he could have my number, so I finally said, “Whatever, he can tell me himself”.
I wasn’t being lured and this display of an uncut umbilical cord between them was putting distance between our friendship. While she never said it, I sensed there was something she wanted from me and I was messing that up, and it made me feel sick. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions with the two of them and I finally needed to end the push/pull of it all.
I did what I felt was a sure thing and I looked at the ending I’d like to have with this guy and then looked at what was happening and it didn’t measure up at all. That was my answer, and it was decided. If I were to ignore this, I honestly would’ve done nothing but allow these two to treat me in a way I wouldn’t think of treating myself.
If we have a connection to something [romantic interest, job, etc.], treat the situation as if you’ve been in it for years and remove the newness, the glamor, the uncertainty and the mask and see it from the angle of what your life looks like with it years from now instead, and see it from that perspective where it’s already yours and you are already getting what you want out of it, then compare that to what you are currently getting out of it, and that’s the standard it should be measured by.
It’s always at its best in the beginning, and if the beginning falls short of what you want to see out of it years from now, walk away from it.