As a kid, I was restricted from thinking for myself or behaviors that were not conducive to my mothers rules and limitations. I was punished for everything, so I vowed that I would be perfect in thoughts words and actions…
I had a breakdown 3 years ago and had a stroke that changed my life and everything I thought I knew about it was no longer okay anymore. I’d locked myself away from others to keep up the facade that I was still perfect, so I had no meaningful relationships and no family because they were septic.
How was I to work out my salvation without all of my core issues destroying others in the process. I began by giving myself permission to fantasize and dream of things that I wasn’t allowed to do in “real life”. I laid down in bed, and for hours, I lived the life that I wasn’t able to live – a life I always wanted. Nothing was off limits and there were no rules. I did this for over a year and, where I was a year later was a very different place than where I started. My beginning fantasies were selfish and needy – revealing my true nature and deepest fears, but it was mine to indulge in. The storyline was ever evolving because I tried out so many scenarios, family, no family, husband, single, geneticist, assassin, prestigious, mundane, intelligent, average… and the more I spent doing this, the more I worked out my own salvation and accellerated growth and maturity without hurting anyone or making lasting mistakes… It was karma giving me a chance to make amends without negative consequences.
The goal is to evolve and mature, not stay looped in our immaturity. The goal is to do what you’ve not allowed yourself to do before and work out what is spiritually beneficial or not for yourself. I started out doing this 3 hours a day, some days 8 hours. If you think that you don’t devote as much time yourself already to making yourself miserable, then it’s your issue, not mine. Begin using your misery programming for good, to benefit growth and use your imagination constructively.
Pair this daydreaming with Mike Dooley’s “Manifesting Change” and in a years time, you will not recognize yourself. There is a right amount of time to devote to this aspect of spiritual growth and maturity, listen to your body to tell you when it’s time to move to another stage of development and move. Until then, work out your own salvation through your fantasies and begin to feel what it’s like to create your life the way you want it [flex your create muscle] so that, when the time comes, you can do it confidently to change what is no longer working [work, love life, marrage, family, etc.].
One imprtant thing is, you can change your entire life without leaving your current circumstances. This isn’t about esaping the choices you’ve made, it’s about re-creating your reality with what you have. If things are toxic, that’s when you cut it off and leave it.
Dick Sutphen is a great authority on how to determine if you should work on it or go. His work, “Master of Life” is a true valu to anyone at any place in their life.